It is becoming increasingly evident that my students are aware of my sexuality. Though my first period doesn't seem to make this a big issue, my fourth period makes it quite obvious with all the snickers, behind-the-back remarks, and questionable looks...
...and don't forget the "subtle" questions such as the one I was asked today! Bob, I have learned, is a very outgoing and outspoken student. He says what is on his mind and could care less if anyone else thinks it's right or appropriate. An honest quality... but, most of the time, it just makes him seem like an arrogant pompous ass.
Today, as the students were working on their classwork, I was walking around the room to make sure they weren't running into any problems. When I got to Bob, he said that he had two questions to ask me. He said this with a slight grin on his face, which led me to suspect that (one) the question wasn't about math, and (two) there was an ulterior motive to asking his questions. Upon his asking it, my suspicions were confirmed.
"Mr. Howard, do you have a girlfriend?"
As soon as he asked it, I knew what he really meant to ask was, "Are you gay?" I kept my cool and retorted, "I don't see why that has anything to do with your assignment, and if that second question is what I think it is, then you're going to the office. That is a question you should not ask a teacher." Then, I walked away and the second question was left unasked.
I am very disappointed at how I handled this situation, but I'm so torn as to what I should have done. Part of me feels that I shouldn't have to hide who I am to my students, but I get the feeling that so many of them have homophobic beliefs - ones severe enough that may personally threaten me. I also question the appropriateness of the situation. I have been told to keep all personal details concerning sexuality a secret, but I don't think sharing that part of who I am is inappropriate.
I don't want to lie to my students by denying the fact that I'm gay (this wouldn't work anyway) but, at the same time, I don't want to just overtly confirm their suspicions by outing myself. I know my students are in school to learn geometry, but they are also here to learn how to become a well-functioning person in our society. There are all kinds of people out there: gay, straight, black, white, Hispanic, fat, skinny, etc. and they all deserve to be treated with as much respect as the next person.
This is such a slippery issue, and I would love your thoughts...
:)
...and don't forget the "subtle" questions such as the one I was asked today! Bob, I have learned, is a very outgoing and outspoken student. He says what is on his mind and could care less if anyone else thinks it's right or appropriate. An honest quality... but, most of the time, it just makes him seem like an arrogant pompous ass.
Today, as the students were working on their classwork, I was walking around the room to make sure they weren't running into any problems. When I got to Bob, he said that he had two questions to ask me. He said this with a slight grin on his face, which led me to suspect that (one) the question wasn't about math, and (two) there was an ulterior motive to asking his questions. Upon his asking it, my suspicions were confirmed.
"Mr. Howard, do you have a girlfriend?"
As soon as he asked it, I knew what he really meant to ask was, "Are you gay?" I kept my cool and retorted, "I don't see why that has anything to do with your assignment, and if that second question is what I think it is, then you're going to the office. That is a question you should not ask a teacher." Then, I walked away and the second question was left unasked.
I am very disappointed at how I handled this situation, but I'm so torn as to what I should have done. Part of me feels that I shouldn't have to hide who I am to my students, but I get the feeling that so many of them have homophobic beliefs - ones severe enough that may personally threaten me. I also question the appropriateness of the situation. I have been told to keep all personal details concerning sexuality a secret, but I don't think sharing that part of who I am is inappropriate.
I don't want to lie to my students by denying the fact that I'm gay (this wouldn't work anyway) but, at the same time, I don't want to just overtly confirm their suspicions by outing myself. I know my students are in school to learn geometry, but they are also here to learn how to become a well-functioning person in our society. There are all kinds of people out there: gay, straight, black, white, Hispanic, fat, skinny, etc. and they all deserve to be treated with as much respect as the next person.
This is such a slippery issue, and I would love your thoughts...
:)
I think you are handling things beautifully, though I do wonder what he would say if you asked him if he had a boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh....Heather nipped that right in the bud. hahaha
ReplyDeleteHey Robbie, Its Priscilla. I know this has got to be a hard issue to overcome. I do not have the right answer to this question. Maybe talk to your CT? I am not sure if that is the appropriate answer or not either...IDK your relationship with your CT. I just want you to know that it doesn't matter what your sexual orientataion is...just that your an amazing person. I know the feelings of trying to relate the situation to your students...yet I had a teacher in high school who had a different sexual orientation, and it did not matter to us. However you know where I come from and its not Bethel/Canton. I love you hope all is well!
ReplyDelete