Blatant Homophobic Remarks

Today was my first taste of a blatant homophobic remark against me.  I knew it was only a matter of time!  In fourth period, I began class right off the bat with a quick lecture on parallel lines.  They were surprisingly attentive.  Being that this is the last period of the day, the students are usually talkative and ready to get out of school.  After the lecture, they got practice in working with theorems on parallel lines by making a theorem booklet, then they worked in small groups for the rest of class.  

Throughout the small group work, one of my students (Ray) was disrupting class.  He kept making animal noises.  I firmly reminded him that this was a classroom - not a zoo - and to keep all noises to himself.  He did it once more; so, I calmly walked over to him and offered a detention if he couldn't keep his trap shut.  He didn't make another noise but, for the rest of class, he kept a stern watch on me.

At the end of class, Ray was talking with a small group of students about how a boy they knew had skipped class.  Ray, casually and loudly enough for me to hear, said, "I bet Mr. Howard would skip with him," suggesting that I would engage in inappropriate relations with said student.  At first, I was going to let it slide but, after seeing the students' reactions, I quickly pulled him over to my desk.  I could see that Ray had been struggling with his homophobia for a while and I decided that this was the time to nip it in the bud.

He sat down in front of me and I began my rant... "Ray, you seem to be under the impression that I am gay or feminine... I say this because I have been hearing these inappropriate and snide comments you've been making about me.  I want you to know that these are not acceptable and, if I hear any more of them, you will be sent straight to the office.  I have given you respect from day one and there is no excuse for why you can't return the same.  I don't care what your beliefs about homosexuality are but, when you enter my classroom, you leave them at the door.  Do you understand?"

Mr. Warren was sitting there the whole time and, after I finished, he told Ray to leave the class.  I'm glad to know that I have his support.

Throughout this "rant," Ray sat there with a smirk on his face.  I hope I got through to him, but only time will tell.  One thing's for sure, though: no more Mr. Nice Guy when it's concerned with this issue!  =)

...you know he's "G-A-Y," right?

     Since we missed two days last week because of snow, we all had to come in this Saturday.  At the end of 4th period, as students were getting ready to leave, one of them (we'll call him TJ) came over to my desk where I was sitting.  TJ is one of my lower-performing students and he has had a hard time understanding the material since class has started.  We had just finished taking a test, so I asked TJ how he thought he did.  We talked about the test for a few minutes and then the conversation progressed into small talk.

     Somehow we began talking about where I was from.  I told him I was from the Charlotte area and the first thing out of his mouth was, "Have you ever been to the Speedway there?"  I told him that I had and then he asked if I watched NASCAR (those of you who know me are probably laughing hysterically right now).  I, of course, said "no."  I also added that I don't even know much about it.  He then asked who my favorite driver was.  The only name that came to mind was Jeff Gordon, so that is what I went with.

     His response was interesting.  He began with, "Oh... well I can't really say how I think of him.  It wouldn't be nice, but... you know he's 'G-A-Y,' right?"

     Can't wait to hear your responses on this one!

6 Days Down, 44 To Go!

I am now proud (and relieved) to say that I have an entire week of student teaching under my belt – that’s 10% of my total time teaching!  :-)  Over the past week, I have been given a taste of what it is like to teach in one’s own classroom.  On the very first day, I distributed the syllabi and explained to the students what would be expected of them in class; they have been all mine ever since!

I can’t say yet whether I enjoy the experience of student teaching.  I am trying not to make any quick judgments but, to be honest, I really have not enjoyed it thus far.  I am fairly certain that this is simply because I am in a new set of circumstances.  I have been assuming the role of a student for the past sixteen years; I have been assuming the role of a teacher for just the past week.  Of course it’s going to be uncomfortable at first!  Last week, however, I almost couldn’t handle it.  I called two of my advisors/supervisors last week because I was seriously considering dropping out of student teaching and just graduating with an applied math degree – it was that unpleasant for me.  I know that the smart decision is to stick with it, but some part of me keeps thinking that I don’t want to work with kids, and it is making the decision to quit that much more appealing.

Another aspect adding to this unpleasantness is my fear of judgment by the students.  As I am up at the front teaching or walking around the room while the students are (supposed to be) doing their work, I notice many things about the students: their facial expressions, their quiet whispers, whether or not they are looking at me as I glance around the room.  I fear that they are murmuring amongst themselves that they have a gay student teacher and how gross that is or how much of a “fag” Mr. Howard is…  I realize that, while justified, this is a ridiculous fear to have on one’s mind because students will always find something about a teacher that is “different.”

What’s weird is that I feel so much more at ease in my first period class than in my fourth.  I feel like I don’t have to hide so much, which benefits everyone.  I am able to bring more of myself to the class and, as a result, I build a greater rapport with the students and the students learn more. 

My fourth period class, where the majority of students are male, is completely different however.  When I look out at these students, I am extremely intimidated.  I feel as though I have to have a guard up and that I can’t let any of them see the “real me.”  A comment made by one of the fourth-period students today rationalizes my feelings concerning this matter. 

We were reviewing perimeter of rectangles (P=2L+2W) :-).  I thought it would be fun to measure objects in the classroom by using a tape measurer.  I chose one student to help me measure the object while the other students watched.  To help see the real-world applicability of perimeter, I explained that if a person ever wanted to do renovations on his/her house, he/she needs to have basic knowledge of how to measure objects.  One of the students asked, “Mr. Howard, do you ever do renovations on your house?”  This might seem like an innocent question, but the way it was asked was definitely not.  He was trying to label me as a feminine man who has never picked up a hammer in my life.  I quickly responded with, “Do I look like I would do any renovations to you,” then kept going with the lesson, ignoring him for the rest of the time.

On a lighter note, my academic supervisor visited my classroom today to observe me.  Basically, she had nothing but good things to say about my lesson.  She complimented me on how I was able to engage the students and the fact that I kept things moving in class.  Mr. Warren was present during our meeting after class and, he too, had nothing but good things to say.  It gives me such a boost of confidence and faith to hear such positive remarks from people who have had experience in this field.