Before I began observing at Mountain Brook, I was a little intimidated by the amount of people claiming how homophobic and narrow-minded the people of the school were. It is still too early to denounce such claims, but I have not seen nearly as much homophobic behavior as I thought I would.
The worst incident surrounding this issue took place one morning when my host teacher and I were sitting at our desks. We were waiting for first period to begin and two students walked into the classroom. They began talking with us about how their classes were going and then the conversation shifted about one of the student’s shoes. He was wearing a pair of Vibram FiveFingers (the ones that show your toes). The one wearing the Vibrams said that they were “the most comfortable shoes ever.” The other student retorted, “Yeah, they’re also the gayest thing ever,” to which the Vibram-wearer did not seem to take offense.
I was unsure of how to respond to this. For one, I did not know these students and I felt that if I informed them of the inappropriateness of what was said, then they would focus their hatefulness on me. I wanted to tell them that that type of language was unacceptable, but I fell silent. I was hoping Mr. Warren would say something but, to my surprise, he just looked away and grinned slightly. Also, I questioned the seriousness of the situation: If I say something, could it escalate into an argument? What do I do if that occurs? I bet they will spread rumors about me if I speak my mind (which is silly because students will always find something about you to make fun of).
After this happened, I felt guilty about not speaking up. I wanted to make those kids realize that by calling a person or thing “gay” when you really mean it is “bad,” “stupid,” or “uncool,” you are putting an entire group of people down. Although they may not have realized it, what was said was a form of hate speech, and I hate that I let it go. However, at the same time, I do believe it was in my best interest to keep quiet. I barely know anyone at this school and that was not the time to become controversial with any of the students or faculty. Once I begin teaching… that is when I will not tolerate that kind of speech.
Fortunately, I have seen no signs of homophobic bullying; however, the presence of hegemonic masculinity is overwhelming. This is a type of masculinity where men seek to prove their “manliness” to other men. One of the ways this is accomplished is by deploring anything associated with femininity. Society has stereotyped homosexual men into being flamboyant, feminine beings who never leave the house without a purse. By these potential hegemonic-masculine men showing how masculine they are and how much they “hate the feminine,” they are essentially trying to prove that they are in no way, shape, or form homosexual (hence the negative association with homosexuality).
One of the biggest indicators of the presence of hegemonic masculinity is the clothes that the boys wear. If it’s not camo, then it’s either black, blue, or red, and it has to be baggy. Carhartt is also all the rage apparently. Anyone who deviates from this clothing norm is more often than not ostracized and picked on.
I begin full-time teaching Monday, January 31. I’ve been getting things in order for the first time and am excited and nervous. Now, the fear of homophobic students is really one of the last things on my mind; I’m more focused on bettering my teaching practices and getting prepared for the upcoming semester.
Robbie, I think that its great that you're blogging about your experiences. I too have wondered how I am going to handle that first instance when I hear a child call something "gay." (Mine will be a little different though, with it being an elementary setting..I think you're high school if I'm not mistaken) Anyway, as much as you may have regretted not saying anything that day, I really think you did the right thing. Sometimes you have to pick your battles. And since you're going to be with that teacher and that class for an entire year, that wasn't the time to address it. I think that when you DO start teaching, that is when you should bring things up. Have your own set of "classroom rules." Not to undermind your cooperating teacher by any means, just simply create a "hate free zone" and explain what it means. Explain to them that words such as "gay" and "retarded" will not be tolerated in your classroom. Just my 2 cents and something that I plan on doing when setting the tone for my classroom community.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you're being challenged and put outside of your comfort zone, which is a good thing because that's only how you grow and can become a better teacher. You're going to do great! =)
Thanks for sharing and I can't wait to read more.
I disagree with the above post. I believe that you should have said something. It is important to address the issues as they arise. However, addressing them in a way that does not come off as an attack is important.
ReplyDeleteI know peer instances are different than when addressing someone like a student in your classroom, however I recently had a talk with my 11 year old nephew. He called something gay and I asked him what he meant by that. he said "I dunno, its stupid." I asked him if he knew what gay was and he said yes, and proceeded to say that boys and boys together was gross (I later learned that he didn't like boys and girls together either).
I asked him how it felt when someone called him something mean and he began to understand how one would feel if the word "gay" was used in an offensive manner. At 11, he has yet to say the word gay around me.
In college, I am sure that they have enough mental capacity to understand that you just simply don't appreciate the use of the word gay in such instances and that it offends you. If they can't respect that, then you can pursue the issue and ask why it is that they feel that way. Etc.
I think it's important that we DO begin addressing the issue and standing up for ourselves. Another way of approaching the topic is introducing yourself. For example, "Hi, I'm Ben, and your name's are?" "What major are you?" Etc. Then you can bring up the fact that you overheard the gay comment and say "You know, I understand that you weren't hating on gays when you said 'Those shoes are gay' but I can't help but take offense. Is there any way you can refrain from using that word around me?" They may snicker and make fun of you behind your back but thats because they're embarrassed by their mistake.
There's much more to say on this topic, I could go forever, but I'l return later as I have homework! Great post though! Keep them coming - I look forward to a rebuttal?
Stephanie, I really appreciate your words of encouragement. Student teaching officially begins Tuesday, Feb. 1 and it's going to be tough. Many of the kids seem to be apathetic toward school and, as a result, don't apply themselves. On top of that, I am terrified that a student is going to directly call me out on being gay in front of an entire class. That is my worst fear. I've tried to prepare myself on what to say/do when this happens, but I feel that it will be a situation where I just have to go with it. Hearing your viewpoint calms my nerves a little! :)
ReplyDeleteBenjamin, I'm glad you posted as well! While I definitely agree with your point about standing up to your peers, I believe you might have misinterpreted my situation. I am student teaching in a high school and the two students I mentioned in this post were teenagers. Had they been my age, I more than likely would have said something. I just felt that it was too early to get on that level with the kids, especially considering all the rumors I've heard about this high school.
Thanks so much to both of you for your responses! Can't wait to hear back from you! :)