Those Shoes Are So Gay.

Before I began observing at Mountain Brook, I was a little intimidated by the amount of people claiming how homophobic and narrow-minded the people of the school were.  It is still too early to denounce such claims, but I have not seen nearly as much homophobic behavior as I thought I would.

The worst incident surrounding this issue took place one morning when my host teacher and I were sitting at our desks.  We were waiting for first period to begin and two students walked into the classroom.  They began talking with us about how their classes were going and then the conversation shifted about one of the student’s shoes.  He was wearing a pair of Vibram FiveFingers (the ones that show your toes).  The one wearing the Vibrams said that they were “the most comfortable shoes ever.”  The other student retorted, “Yeah, they’re also the gayest thing ever,” to which the Vibram-wearer did not seem to take offense.

I was unsure of how to respond to this.  For one, I did not know these students and I felt that if I informed them of the inappropriateness of what was said, then they would focus their hatefulness on me.  I wanted to tell them that that type of language was unacceptable, but I fell silent.  I was hoping Mr. Warren would say something but, to my surprise, he just looked away and grinned slightly.  Also, I questioned the seriousness of the situation:  If I say something, could it escalate into an argument?  What do I do if that occurs?  I bet they will spread rumors about me if I speak my mind (which is silly because students will always find something about you to make fun of).

After this happened, I felt guilty about not speaking up.  I wanted to make those kids realize that by calling a person or thing “gay” when you really mean it is “bad,” “stupid,” or “uncool,” you are putting an entire group of people down.  Although they may not have realized it, what was said was a form of hate speech, and I hate that I let it go.  However, at the same time, I do believe it was in my best interest to keep quiet.  I barely know anyone at this school and that was not the time to become controversial with any of the students or faculty.  Once I begin teaching… that is when I will not tolerate that kind of speech.

Fortunately, I have seen no signs of homophobic bullying; however, the presence of hegemonic masculinity is overwhelming.  This is a type of masculinity where men seek to prove their “manliness” to other men.  One of the ways this is accomplished is by deploring anything associated with femininity.  Society has stereotyped homosexual men into being flamboyant, feminine beings who never leave the house without a purse.  By these potential hegemonic-masculine men showing how masculine they are and how much they “hate the feminine,” they are essentially trying to prove that they are in no way, shape, or form homosexual (hence the negative association with homosexuality).

One of the biggest indicators of the presence of hegemonic masculinity is the clothes that the boys wear.  If it’s not camo, then it’s either black, blue, or red, and it has to be baggy.  Carhartt is also all the rage apparently.  Anyone who deviates from this clothing norm is more often than not ostracized and picked on.

I begin full-time teaching Monday, January 31.  I’ve been getting things in order for the first time and am excited and nervous.  Now, the fear of homophobic students is really one of the last things on my mind; I’m more focused on bettering my teaching practices and getting prepared for the upcoming semester.

Purpose

“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded!”

-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

*****

As a mathematics education student about to embark on the journey of student teaching, there are many, many thoughts that run through my mind: Will my students like me? How am I going to make mathematics both enjoyable and applicable to them? Will my host teacher force me to conform to his teaching style or will he let me experiment with my own? What happens if the students, parents, or staff learn that I am gay?

The most pressing of these concerns is definitely the latter. To be a queer educator, especially in many parts of the South, means that you probably experience many negative incidents surrounding homosexuality. Students, or even staff and parents, may make homophobic remarks; if you are queer, then you might be pressured to hide it; or perhaps you may even be the victim of homophobic ridicule or violence.

In this blog, I intend to document my experiences concerning this issue in the high school at which I will intern during the Spring 2011 semester. I will record how I (or those involved) responded to the situation and reflect on it. To protect the identities of my students and colleagues, as well as my own, I will keep the details contained in this blog anonymous (with the exception of the following paragraph). All names that are used are fake and are there solely to protect the identities of all involved.

I will be teaching in a very rural high school in North Carolina. The population of the town where the school is located is just over 4,000. Almost 96% of the town’s inhabitants are white and roughly 13% of the entire population lies below the poverty line. The school itself has approximately 1,000 students. I will be teaching three geometry courses this Spring.

I have spoken to many people about this particular school (which we will call Mountain Brook High School or MBHS), and most have expressed concerns over the students’ general stance on homosexuality and other issues. Many of the people I spoke with seemed to be under the impression that many individuals involved with MBHS are close minded and very homophobic. My host teacher (whom we shall call Michael Warren aka Mr. Warren), in fact, said, “They’re all rednecks.” I, however, have not had much experience with MBHS.

Currently, I am nervous, doubtful, stressed… terrified… but I am also excited about what this new stage of my life has in store for me. I begin observing at Mountain Brook in just a few days, and then I start teaching sometime in mid-January. Wish me luck!!